Friday, September 5, 2014


The other day I stopped dead in my tracks and watched in disbelief as this small villain tried to get into my home by scaling the screen door, climbing up so high that we were almost at eye-to-eye with nothing but flimsy mesh between us.

Is this the very same criminal who has been trying to hide some sort of evidence in the flowerpot by our front door? I saw the pile of dirt on the stoop and the hole in the dirt by the geranium firsthand.
When I venture out through the front door, chipmunks chirp and scurry away as fast as they can. What are they so afraid of?

I have heard the thundering of tiny feet on my rooftop, watched the bandit try to cram huge walnuts into the roof vents over and over again. The big green walnuts roll down from the roof and crash down on our deck with every failed attempt. If the walnuts are so special, why are they abandoned so easily?  I throw the black walnuts over the fence as far as I can, but I have an old Nerf Vortex injury, so none of the throws are very great ones, to be honest.

Is this all some plot to grow black walnut trees? I have heard that the lumber is quite valuable (according to The Profitable Plants Digest), but then why try to plant one in the roof vent of my house? Trees take years to grow, clearly there is a certain level of premeditation going on here. While the squirrels are trying to plant the trees on our rooftop, they surely must realize that the ground would be much better; but then they'd be on the chipmunks' turf...

I shudder to think that there is a connection between this suspicious activity and the untimely death of an unfortunate chipmunk in the vent of our clothes dryer this summer, just 10 feet away from the aforementioned flowerpot.

Is it coincidental, or did the chipmunk know too much?


Unknown said...

I wasn't putting two-and-two together with the dryer vent incident... Apparently dark things are going on in our yard..

Nina Crittenden said...

I know, right?